Big Day Out

Well, it was indeed a big day for the little boy. His first full on excursion out into the big wide world. We went to the farmer's market. On the bright side, the wares on offer were fabulous, the sun was shining, and it was our last day with Nana, who flew home earlier this evening.

On the down side, in what very well may be two recurring themes for our tiny protagonist, he absolutely missed the entire excursion, and he was completely and utterly overshadowed by the histrionics of his big sister. Now, I know that it's a tad premature to be worrying about these types of things, but part of being a parent is worrying. And, I'm not really the type to worry about the stereotypical parental worries like choking or lead paint or the dangers of crawling. No, I worry that my child will inherit the personality traits that have lead to my lifelong sense of existential dread.

Namely, I worry that, as he did today, he will miss large parts of his own life. Granted, I have mostly missed out on my own life due to a proclivity to over intellectualize any and all experiences, and he missed his morning outing by sleeping through it. I do realize that these are indeed different. But, by having a penis and missing any tiny part at all of his life, he is already way more like me than Ruby ever was or will be. So much so that it naturally makes me worry that he is, in fact, exactly like me, and triggers fears that he will inevitably relive the internal struggles of my life.

Luckily, there is at least some small consolation in that he will not be reliving the external struggles of my life, as he will undoubtedly be struggling with the unique challenges of living a life in the shadow of, and under the direction of his big sister. While he slept this morning, she completely soaked one entire pantleg of her jeans on the way to the market. She screamed at the top of her lungs at her Nana, "NO PUSH ME!!" because she has a strict rule that I have to push her stroller whenever I am present. She charmed a bunch of strangers with her exuberance and bright red knit devil horn hat. She also accompanied her mother to the bathroom. Unfortunately, her mother is currently convalescing from surgery, and is therefore unable to pick her up. So, of course, she threw a fit, and ended up heaving herself upon the ground as dead weight, and being dragged by an arm screaming for what seemed to her mother to be miles.

Thankfully, people don't really want to get involved any more, and therefore nobody called child protective services. So, for now, she remains under our protection. Of course, she remains convinced that her baby brother is under hers. She was incredibly proud of herself this evening when she got to hold him. In fact, she took it so seriously that she wouldn't let Natasha touch him while she held him. It was a bit disturbing, but very, very cute as well.