Divide and Conquer

Natasha flew down to LA yesterday in order to take a civil service exam, and took Lupe with her, so we each have a kid right now.

After we dropped them off at the airport, we decided to get some dinner. Normally, this would have meant one of the several brewpubs in town, but I've been battling a bit of a cold for a couple of days, so instead we ended up at a vegetarian Chinese restaurant that is out in the Sunset district where we used to live, which I always liked more than Natasha. Ruby was in a super good mood, chatting and asking questions in the most lively and adorable manner possible. She was excited to be able to get "Chicken Nuggets" at a restaurant, and for the first time actually drank the tea instead of just playing with it (which she did as well, of course).

As we were walking back to the car, I felt my resolve weakening, and started to think that maybe I would get her some sort of treat at one of the many candy/ice cream/yogurt/tapioca drink places in that neighborhood, but was saved by a produce stand that had strawberries. They were even from Watsonville, so I didn't even have to endure a slight pang of guilt at getting something from halfway around the world. Strawberries are her favorite food in any case, so she did get a special treat, which she ate during her other special treat, watching the movie Madagascar. I got the special treat of perusing the latest election news without being interrupted.

Of course, I missed who would have been interrupting me. Lupe has been getting much more active and inquisitive lately, as well as just plain more fun and cute and interactive. Just the fact that he can crawl from one room in to the other on his own is somehow amusing (although it won't be for too long). I realized as I was saying goodbye to him at the airport that I have been with him almost 24 hours a day every day for the last three weeks. I go to work one day a week, but aside from that, I have rarely been not in the same place with him, particularly since Natasha got word that she was going to take this test and has been studying a lot.

It also feels that way because we have been trying to train him to sleep better. When they are tiny, they get fed all night long, any time they are hungry. At a certain point , though, it ceases to be about hunger. Yet, if he wakes up in the middle of the night, the quickest, easiest way to get him back to sleep is the boob. But, getting the boob all the time doesn't exactly encourage him to stay asleep. So, when I went to the pediatrician for his six month check up, I asked how long he should be able to go without food at night.

Eight hours.

Alright, then. So, the solution was to separate him and Natasha. Natasha and Ruby started sleeping on the air mattress in the other room, leaving the boys alone. It started slowly. I put him on a bottle schedule for the night, but comforted him as usual, picking him up of need be. The I stopped picking him up, then cut out all but one feeding, then stopped giving him any but the most cursory comfort, and finally cut that last feeding. It took about three weeks, and was tough at times, but resulted in him sleeping through the night a couple of times.

We then allowed the girls back in, which was a disaster, of course. But, at least we know he can do it, and we'll figure it out. But the reason I tell this story is because the whole process has made me feel like he and I have been spending a lot of time together, even more so than just taking care of him six days a week, which is plenty.